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About Other / Student Sarah Martha Ann BallesterosFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Sarah Martha Ann Ballesteros
Artist | Student | Other
United States
  • Listening to: Imogen Heap- Speeding Cars

Don't have good Grammar so sorry 

Seven years ago I died. I was in a car accident with my fiance. I died and he didn't. I don’t blame him for my death but I have to blame it on myself. When I died he and I were arguing about something that night …….and I don’t even remember what it was. I just know I started the argument. Because of that argument my fiance and I were hit by another car. Luckily the other people who hit us didn't die but I wasn't too lucky. After my death my fiance never forgave himself although it was my fault. He started out staying home, drinking, and cry out in his sleep. I know because I have been watching him that month after my death. Eventually he went back to work but he drank a lot more and still cried in his sleep. I hated seeing him like this but I couldn’t do anything to comfort him. I couldn't say I’m sorry to make it up to him, I couldn't tell him I was in a better place, and I couldn't wipe away his tears when he cried. For nine months I would cry because I couldn't comfort my fiance.

Two years later I accepted the world I lived in but my fiance was still in the past. So I did what I could do to comfort him even if he can’t see me, hear, or touch me. I stroke his hair when cried in his sleep, try to encourage him to work harder on his job, and yell at him to stop drinking. By going this it made me felt alive and I was still with him. Like he and I are already married and on our way of having a baby. Everything about that car crash didn't even happen but that is a fantasy. I’m dead and he’s alive. I would do anything to go back to stop myself from getting into an argument with him, warn him not to leave or tell him to take a different route. I would do anything to go back in time but I couldn't. So God why can’t I go back in time? Why I’m I here? Why can’t I be with Eddie?! Why do I have to watch him suffer? Why?

It has been 8 years since my death. Eddie got addicted to drugs. He has been talking suicide like saying he will be joining me soon. I don’t like the way he’s talking about death because it was hurting me worse to see him like this. But I guess the guilt of my death make him almost died. Eddie took to many drugs and mixed them with alcohol. As he was slowly dying I started to scold at him. I told him he was an idiot and he needs to move on because he wasn't the one who to blame for my death. Then I told him what I wanted him to do so I can move on. I told him that I wanted him to start a new life and do the things I couldn't do with him. Meet someone new, marry her, and start a family with her. All the things I have been fantasying with my living fiance. It’s okay to live on. All of a sudden he said my name as if he heard me. He smiled and tears fell from his dyeing face.  

Eddie was barely alive when his landlord found him. He was sent to the hospital and he was treated. Being at the hospital Eddie slowly started to recover. He was finally going back who he was. He was becoming the man who I once loved. I was finally was able to get through to him after all these years. Eddie stayed at the hospital for a year for is addiction problem to stay clean. He meet a nurse who became his girlfriend. He was finally moving on. It has been 10 years since the car crash and 10 years since my death. Now that my fiance has moved on it is my turn to move on too and who knows maybe we will be able to meet again in the afterlife or whatever is out there after death. 

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Atelier-Cynamon Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
:icongroupthing1plz::icongroupthing1-2plz::icongroupthing1-3: :iconbigheartplz: :icongroupthing2plz::icongroupthing2-2plz::icongroupthing2-3plz:
Rejuch Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2015
Chibi by Rejuch  
AjkaSketch Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much for faving !! Bunny Emoji-42 (Awww) [V2] Bunny Emoji-18 (Shower Love) [V1] 
Cinnamoncandy Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fav! :heart:
MDDahl Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Sarah, many thanks for the favourite!
BogdanVII Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the fav!:) (Smile) 
Grafight Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2015
Thanks for favin'!
Ahooooy Matey!
DerekDwyer Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks very much for the favourite!
LimonTea Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
DrChrisman Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the Fav:D
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